Introduction to the Talking Stick
The importance of listening
How many times this week (or even today) have you caught yourself not listening to your kids? I mean; REALLY listening to what they have to say and how they feel?
I’d be the first one to admit I’m guilty to this several times a day. Unfortunately it seems to me we are doing this more and more often. How many times do we look at our phones instead of listening to each other? And how can we expect our children to listen to us if we don’t listen to them?
I get it; you’re with your kids all day and sometimes you just need a break. But it’s really important that we try to listen to each other more. Today I’m challenging you to put your phone (and other distractions) down and just listen to, and be, with your kids.
Use of the talking stick
We have much to learn from the Native American people in regards to listening. Whenever they held a council or a gathering, a “talking stick” was used. The purpose of the talking stick was to fully listen to, and respect, each other’s opinions. The talking stick was passed from person to person and only the one holding it was allowed to talk. An “Answering Feather” was also used. If the speaker asked a question, the answering feather was passed out to the person who was to answer the question.
Symbolic meanings of the talking stick design
The talking stick can vary widely in color and design. Colors have different symbolic meanings for different tribes. Also the kind of tree used for the stick has symbolic meanings, as well as beads and hides used for decoration. The answering feather was usually from an eagle, but a turkey feather could also be used.
You can read more about the different symbolic meanings on First People website.
Make your own Talking Stick
We decided we would like to make our own talking stick. Here’s how we did it:
Materials needed:
- Sticks to decorate
- Saw
- Sand paper
- Acrylic paints
- Paint brushes
- Yarn
- Beads (I bought mine at Amazon)
- Feathers
- Leather/Faux suede string (optional)
- Stain of your choice (optional)
Step-by-step
1. Gathering sticks
First we went out in nature to gather some really nice sticks. This is a good excuse to get the kids out too. We went for a shorter hike and the kids climbed some trees on the way. Please don’t break branches from the trees, but gather only dry sticks from the ground.
2. preparing the sticks
Cut the branches the desired length and sandpaper any rough surfaces. My kids are pretty comfortable with the saw, but make sure you provide parental supervision, so your children don’t get hurt.
3. Decorating
Finally it’s time to be creative! We covered some of the sticks with stain (I LOVE stain), some we painted in different colors and some we wrapped with yarn. We used beads, feathers and string for decoration. Use your imagination when you make your own talking stick. Make it personal.
Conclusion
I must I admit I got really caught up in the decoration of these talking sticks. I was the last one to finish mine:) You can make your own talking stick not only for the purpose of listening to each other, but also as a nice decoration of your home. We were very satisfied how ours turned out and will put them out for display. Have fun and remember to listen to each other! Forget about all distractions and take the time to really listen to your kids today.
Final results
Here are some examples of the talking sticks we made. Aren’t they cute?
My first grader always makes some “funny” creatures.
It’s like my son creates and creates and to our surprise the end result will be something totally different than he started out to make! This is more of a mobile than a talking stick, so we hung it in our living room.
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey
Please share your ideas and experiences with us!
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